#Satire

At a recent press conference, Mother Nature revealed her plans to cancel humanity over the Corona Virus fear.

“I can’t afford to be sick,” she said to a sold-out room in Washington D.C. “So, it’s time for me to use the powers at will to end humanity. You caused this virus, and now it’s affecting me.”

During the one-hour conference, she described in detail her plan on how she’s going to kill us all. First, she plans to erupt all volcanoes including Yellow Stone. She will then cause massive earthquakes around the world along with tsunamis aimed towards the world’s largest cities. Finally, a great flood will cover the earth for forty days and forty nights. And she will re-build the world as a luscious garden with animals roaming free.

Most reporters asked questions about her opinions on the Trump administration’s handling of the Corona Virus. Some reporters tried to find out if Mother believed that Trump was the one who originally caused the virus. She said she wasn’t interested in sharing her opinion on the current administration.

President Trump praised Mother on Twitter for not falling for the ‘Fake News’ attempt to get her to attack him. But he also critiqued her plan to wipe out humanity and argued that a nuclear holocaust is the better route to take.

“I can do it with just a touch of a button,” President Trump said. “She doesn’t have a button. I have a big large red one. People say it’s the biggest button. They say President Trump do you know you have the biggest button?”

We contacted Mother to see how she felt after the press conference. She said she was confused by our reaction to her threats.

“I’m confused. I expected panic, and for everyone to ask for forgiveness for what you all have done to me. Instead, the President is the only thing that’s brought up,” she said. Adding, “You all deserve to die if you care more about the success and failure of one man then you do about me.”

We tried to get her opinions on Joe Biden, but she declined.