Colorado Governor Jared Polis plans to shut himself down through carbon freezing; says his action will help fight off the deadly disease

Governor Jared Polis announced at a press conference early Tuesday that he will carbon freeze himself until there are no more Covid-19 cases in Colorado.

He believes this will help fight the deadly Coronavirus pandemic from spreading; he gave himself a 72-hour window and will begin his self-imposed shutdown Friday.

His decision to carbon freeze himself is in response to the rising Covid-19 cases in Colorado. According to Polis, forcing people to wear masks and shutting down the economy hasn’t worked. He wonders why destroying small-businesses while propping up big-business was a losing strategy against the invisible enemy.

“I know what I need to, but I have been too afraid to do it. I am going to carbon freeze myself, so I can ensure I don’t spread the virus. I encourage other people to do the same,” said Polis. He added, “I am a Star Wars fan, and I’ve learned that you can freeze someone for a significant amount of time, unfreeze them, and they will be alright to live again.”

Several scientists have refuted Polis, claiming that his idea originates from a science fiction fantasy movie, and it’s scientifically impossible.

“We need to stop the governor from doing this before he kills himself,” said Dr. Justin Sciente, “Why isn’t a member of his staff attempting to stop him?”

Polis and his staff have claimed that any argument that tries to deny the governor’s right to freeze himself is homophobic, and critics need to check their privilege.

Several scientists have already been fired for speaking out against the governor’s action. Twitter has helped dox several alleged bigots while using the hashtag #gayshavetherighttofreethemselvesiftheywant.

Polis is now preparing to freeze himself; he wishes us luck as we attempt to bring down the Covid-19 cases to zero. Several other prominent politicians like Nancy Pelosi, plan to follow through and do the same thing in the upcoming weeks.

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